


I've always been my own worst enemy

by Jamie_Angel



Series: I'll do anything you tell me to [2]
Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Blackout (Mothica), Blue's power kink, Eavesdropping, F/M, First Time, Rough Sex, Vaginal Sex, Wall Sex, he just wants to kiss her, kiss avoidance, shes stll cursed, wearing someone elses underwear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:20:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27758293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jamie_Angel/pseuds/Jamie_Angel
Summary: Ronan laughed again, “Damn Sargent, that really got you worked up, huh? We’re in public.”“Fuck you.” Blue responded with no particular ill will.Blue had gotten worked up at the thought of him dreaming about her? Blue had gotten worked up at the thought of him dreaming about her?Ronan said, sounding like he was enjoying himself thoroughly, “You can continue, by the way. I know that’s not all you want.  You’re definitely a kinky bastard.”Gansey was barely breathing. It was such a betrayal of trust, sitting here and listening to things she was telling Ronan in confidence, but he needed to hear what she was going to say next. His jealousy was back with a vengeance, but this time he was jealous of Ronan, jealous that Blue told him these things so easily, jealous that she hadn’t told Gansey.
Relationships: Richard Gansey III/Blue Sargent
Series: I'll do anything you tell me to [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2029258
Comments: 3
Kudos: 54





	I've always been my own worst enemy

**Author's Note:**

> the title is once again from Blackout by Mothica because i am in love with one (1) woman. (thats a lie i'm in love with many women)
> 
> anyway, this is Gansey acting on what Blue wanted

“Thanks, Helen.” Gansey said, stepping out of the helicopter.  
  
She nodded, “Bye Dick. See you whenever. Don’t forget to tell Captain Stone Cold and the Short Leftist hi for me.”  
  
“ _Goodbye, Helen._ ”   
  
Adam tapped him on the shoulder as Helen took off again. “I don’t have my car. Can you drop me off at St Agnes’?”  
  
Gansey frowned. “You’ve not eaten anything all day. Let’s go to Nino’s and we can get a pizza.”  
  
Adam pursed his lips. “I’m paying.”  
  
“Ok.” Gansey said. Anything to get Adam to eat and not immediately jump back into schoolwork.  
  
Gansey slid into the Pig’s driver’s seat and patted its wheel. Once Adam was in, he peeled out of the Monmouth car park, noting briefly that the BMW was missing.  
  
The drive was a long and silent one.   
  
When they finally got to Nino’s, the car park was that full that they managed to circle round three times and still not find a space. Eventually, Gansey just pulled into a side street and parked there.   
  
Their usual booth seemed to be taken. Adam pulled Gansey into one side of the booth right next to it and held one finger to his lips. He inclined his head to their usual booth.  
  
Gansey listened. It sounded like Blue and Ronan were talking. Gansey smiled and opened his mouth to announce their presence, but Adam shook his head.  
  
Slowly, he mouthed _listen._  
  
The Gansey truly did listen. Blue said, “Promise not to hold this against me?”  
  
Ronan’s voice said, rather gravely, “On my life.”  
  
There was a pause, in which he looked at Adam. With his eyes, he asked, _should we be listening to this?_ And Adam replied with a silent, _I don’t know, but I want to._  
  
“Oh, Jesus.” Blue’s voice said, “I can’t believe I’m doing this.” She took a deep breath, “Honestly, I just want to kiss him. You know about my curse, right? I want him to push me against a wall and kiss me so hard my mouth hurts. But he can’t even if he wanted to.”  
  
Her voice was a little sad toward the end. Gansey felt a stab of jealous toward this mystery _he._ Blue spoke with such tender longing in her voice that it made him resent whoever it was that made her feel that way.  
  
Ronan laughed. “Oh, he wants to alright. You should hear the sounds he makes when he dreams.”  
  
There was only one person Ronan would actively hear dreaming. Gansey.  
  
Oh. _Oh._  
  
His face burned when he remembered the last time he’d dreamt of Blue. His face burned once more when he remembered what Blue had just said.  
  
Adam was eyeing him, mouth very slightly open.  
  
Ronan laughed again, “Damn Sargent, that really got you worked up, huh? We’re in public.”  
  
“Fuck you.” Blue responded with no particular ill will.   
  
Blue had gotten worked up at the thought of him dreaming about her? _Blue_ had gotten _worked up_ at the thought of _him_ dreaming about her?  
  
Ronan said, sounding like he was enjoying himself thoroughly, “You can continue, by the way. I know that’s not all you want. You’re definitely a kinky bastard.”  
  
Gansey was barely breathing. It was such a betrayal of trust, sitting here and listening to things she was telling Ronan in confidence, but he _needed_ to hear what she was going to say next. His jealousy was back with a vengeance, but this time he was jealous of Ronan, jealous that Blue told him these things so easily, jealous that she hadn’t told Gansey.   
  
“I want...God, I want him to completely break me.” Blue said. She was breathing heavily. “Fuck-ok. I want to be completely powerless underneath him. Handcuffs, ropes, whatever. I just want him to be able to control me.”  
  
Maybe Gansey had died, and this was his hell: listening to Blue describe all the ways she wanted him and not being able to do anything about it. Then again, couldn’t he? If she truly wanted him, then maybe he should ask her about this.  
  
 _Handcuffs_. Those couldn’t be too hard to locate. He imagined her, both arms stretched above her head, handcuffed to the headboard of his bed, squirming underneath him. He blinked twice to remove the image, but it wouldn’t leave.  
  
Adam was very much aware of the effect the words were having on him, but Gansey couldn’t bring himself to care.  
  
 _Ropes._ Jesus, the mere idea of Blue, spread-eagle on a bed, limbs held in place by her wrists and ankles, complacent just for him. His breathing was ragged.  
  
This was _Blue_ he was thinking about, who frequently said that she belonged to no one, saying that she wanted to be _broken by him._  
  
“You?” Ronan sounded as surprised as Gansey felt. “Little Miss Feminist wants to willingly give up control to a man?”  
  
“Don’t even. I know its hypocritical.” She said tiredly.  
  
 _I don’t think it is,_ Gansey thought. _You don’t always_ have _to be in control._  
  
“Who would’ve seen this coming?” Ronan joked. “Ha, coming.”  
  
Gansey ignored Ronan’s bad joke. He _certainly_ hadn’t seen this coming, but he also hadn’t thought Blue liked him.  
  
“Very mature Ronan.” Blue deadpanned. “It’s your turn now, I’m done talking.”  
  
Did they do this every time he and Adam were out of town? He sort of hoped so.  
  
There was a long silence. Gansey’s pants felt as abrasive as sandpaper because of how hard and wanting he was. It was kind of embarrassing, given that Adam was right in front of him. Adam didn’t seem very interested, however, as his eyebrow was furrowed, and he was looking at the booth as if he could see through it.  
  
“Well,” Ronan said finally, “Adam.”  
  
Gansey’s eyes snapped to Adam’s. There was no wrinkle between his brows, just confusion.  
  
“I like his accent. He tried so hard to hide it, but s’cute.” Ronan didn’t sound like he was fully there, like he’d turned his head away. “  
  
Adam’s lips parted.  
  
“And the way he looks after he’s just finished at the garage, all hot and sweaty and smelling of grease and car oil.”  
  
Adam’s eyes completely unfocused.  
  
“When he’s on the ley line, and he’s got his eyes closed and he looks so _alive._ ” Ronan said, speaking quicker than he had before, like he’d lived with those opinions long enough and he just wanted to get them off his chest.  
  
One of Adam’s fists clenched.  
  
“Fuck, when he’s being possessed by Cabeswater and his eyes go all weird like that and he looks like he could kill you and not even worry about it.”  
  
Adam let out a breathy “ _Ronan._ ” That was carried away by the music.   
  
They settled into silence. Adam looked like he’d completely forgotten Gansey’s existence.  
  
“What do you want him to do to you, Ronan?” Blue said after a long while.  
  
Ronan made an animalistic noise in the back of his throat and Adam’s pupils dilated until they were more black than Blue. “Fuck, Blue. The Cabeswater thing – I want him to pin me down and fuck my fucking brains out, which is weird because I made Cabeswater, but it’s be so fucking _hot._ ”  
  
Adam closed his eyes, his chest moving heavily with each breath. He covered his mouth with one hand.  
  
“Jesus,” Ronan said thickly, “I want him to push me into a dark closet at one of Gansey’s dumb political functions and fuck me against the wall with a hand over my mouth to keep my quiet.”  
  
Adam was rock hard in his suit pants, hunching over to disguise it as best he could.  
  
“God, this one’s really messed up. I want him to take me apart with his words in the confessions booth of St. Agnes.”  
  
Adam bit down on his finger.  
  
“You’d defile a church?” Blue asked.  
  
“Its been defiled before.” Ronan grumbled. Adam’s eyes were still closed, so he couldn’t see the way Gansey’s eyes flicked to his face and away again. “I watched myself die in that Church.”  
  
“There’s a bit of a difference between things.”  
  
“Should we get out of here?” Ronan asked after a brief pause.  
  
“Can you...”  
  
The rest of the conversation was too quiet for Gansey to hear. He turned away as they passed, hiding both him and Adam, still spaced out, from view and hoping terribly that they didn’t pay too much attention.  
  
Thankfully, they didn’t, but they left Gansey with his breath too heavy in his chest, feeling like he was about to spontaneously combust and _wanting._  
  
___  
  
When he got back to Monmouth, Blue and Ronan were sat on the sofa, legs twined together, playing Portal.   
  
Blue looked up when he entered, rosy-mouthed and startled. “Oh, Gansey.”  
  
Ronan looked at him then, eyes darting between them, lingering on Blue’s with _too much_ silent communication. He disentangled their legs and paused the game. “Thought you were gone for another day.”  
  
“It ended early.” Gansey said, not taking his eyes from Blue’s. “Oh, Ronan, Adam wants you. He texted you where to meet him, something for the ley line.”  
  
Blue and Ronan’s eyes met once more, and Gansey found himself _loathing_ the odd understanding their little discussion at Nino’s had formed.  
  
Ronan got up and stretched, kicking Blue in the shin once, before sauntering out of Monmouth.  
  
The silence buzzed around them for a minute or so, before Gansey couldn’t take it anymore. “Jane, I have to tell you something.  
  
Guilt had been eating at him the entire drive back. He’d intruded on a _clearly_ private conversation. Blue would hate him if she knew, but she’d hate him more if he never told her.  
  
She twisted so she was on her knees, looking over the back of the sofa at him.   
  
“When Adam and I came back early,” he started, very carefully, “we went to Nino’s for some food.”  
  
Blue didn’t look like she thought this had any relevancy.   
  
“And, uh, we heard you and Ronan talking.”  
  
Blue buried her face in her hands and groaned. “Oh no. Jesus, I’m so sorry Gansey.”  
  
Out of all the things he had expected, an _apology_ hadn’t been one of them. “Why are you sorry?”  
  
Blue didn’t lift her head, so her words were muffled. “You listened to me say all those... those _derogatory_ things about you! God, this is embarrassing.”  
  
Gansey thought of her words before. Christ, he was getting hard in his pants again. He shifted to hide it. Her head was still in his hands so she didn’t notice. _  
  
_ “No, Jane – God, _Blue,_ ” Her head started to lift, “I – I liked it.”  
  
Her cheeks were ruddy red. When she spoke, her voice was breathy and disbelieving. “What?”  
  
“Hearing you... _talk_ that way.” I swallowed. “It turned me on. So much.”  
  
Her eyes went wide and he could hear her breathing quicken.   
  
“I,” he said, “... I was thinking, that we could try some of it out.”  
  
“Oh _God yes.”_ Blue gasped.  
  
Gansey flexed his fists once. He was wheezing slightly as he breathed, entirely _too turned on._ Making his voice as commanding as possible, he said. “Come here.”  
  
Blue made a strangled noise in the back of her throat and pressed her thighs together. Gansey was afraid he’d already gone too far, but she slipped of the couch and walked in a half-daze over to him, stopping when her chest was an inch from his. She put her hands, feather light, on his chest. His skin ignited under her touch.   
  
She looked up at him with wide eyes and his breath caught in his throat. She was so _beautiful_ it wasn’t fair. How could one person be that _pretty?_ He put his hands on her shoulders, rubbing his thumbs over her collar bones.  
  
Her breath got stuck in her throat and her hands tightened on his chest, lighting him aflame even more. He lightly pushed on her shoulders, moving her gently to the wall. She was putty under his hands, completely confident in his motives. Her back bumped against and she made another half-strangled sound as he pressed closer to her, head ducked so his nose grazed across the lovely skin of her neck.  
  
“ _Gansey.”_ She breathed reverently. He breathed across her skin, enjoying the goosebumps it left in its wake. “Fuck, _Gansey_.”  
  
“Shhh,” he said and she shut up, lips pressed together with the effort. With one hand, he tugged the bottom of her skirt. “Shall we get this off?”  
  
She nodded, holding her arms above her head. Gansey pulled her shirt over her head, careful not to snag any of the safety pins on her head. He appreciatively ran his hands down her sides and she shivered under his touch. He let his fingers drag along her arms until both his hands were curled around her wrists like manacles. He lifted her hands from they were touching his chest and, maintaining eye contact with her, switched both of her petite wrists to one of his hands, then pressed them into the wall above her.   
  
She squirmed, panting heavily, blowing the breath onto his face. He had no doubt that he looked a mess, crazed eyes and pink cheeks, but he didn’t care because _Blue_ was squirming beneath his hands and _loving it._   
  
With his free hand, he hooked the first knuckle of his finger on the waistband of her skirt. When he spoke his voice didn’t sound like his own, calm and sultry and _commanding_. “This?”  
  
She whined, thin and high, and cocked her hips off the wall to give him better access. Taking his sweet, sweet time, he dragged her skirt off, enjoying the moans the action pulled from her lips and the way she wriggled, trying to make him move faster. He didn’t know how long he’d wanted this but it felt like he’d never wanted anything else.   
  
He stared in open-mouthed wonder once her skirt fell past the tops of her thighs. “Are those _Ronan’s?”_ He asked, grinning widly. When she just made a noise of protest, he tacked on. “You can speak.”  
  
“After our _conversation_ at Nino’s,” Blue said, voice thick with lust, “me and Ronan were a bit... worked up. We had to get rid of our _problems_ in the BMW. My underwear was too wet to continue wearing, so Ronan lent me some of his.”  
  
Gansey’s throat tightened at the mental of image of Blue and Ronan getting off in the BMW, Blue with her hands under her skirt and Ronan with his hands down his pants. He could almost smell the sweat and hear the whines and groans. If possible, his erection hardened.  
  
“God, Jane.” He gasped, letting her skirt drop to the floor and pulling Ronan’s boxers off her. He wanted so badly to throw himself onto the spear point that was her rosy mouth. Instead of ruining what they had by dying, he scooped her by the back of her thighs. She looped her legs around his waist, locking her ankles against his back in a move that brought them even closer together, his cock pressing into her hip. Her hands were scrabbling for purchase – scratching at his hand and the wall, _desperate_.  
  
“Fuck,” he growled, letting her hold herself up by her legs while he grappled with his stupid belt, “Do you have any idea what you _do_ to me?”  
  
She moaned as he pulled his dick out, rolling her hips to gain friction. He rubbed himself along her wetness a few times, basking in the feel of _her_ and what he did to her. “Are you ready?”  
  
She swallowed but nodded, locking her ankles tighter against his back. In one swift movement, he thrust himself into her.  
  
She moaned loudly, half pain and half pleasure. He was briefly worried that he’d gone too far. This must’ve shown, because she moaned, “Shit, Gansey, don’t stop.”  
  
His shoulders hunched forward as he thrust into her again, and he buried his face into her neck, chanting her name like it was a prayer. _Blue, Blue, Blue._  
  
Her body shook underneath him. Her hands had stopped trying to find purchase and gone limp, just like her body as she relaxed into him, melting against his body.  
  
When she came, her thighs clenched and pulled him, if possible, _further_ into, cursing and moaning and whining his name. It was music to his ears and he came too, pulling out enough to splatter it on her stomach.  
  
They didn’t move for a long time, letting their breaths blow onto each others body. Gansey’s dick softened on her stomach, which was striped with his _come.  
  
_ “Wait,” she said. He pulled his face out of her neck to look her in the eyes. “If you came here to do this, then did Adam actually want Ronan for important ley line business?”  
  
“That depends what you deem ‘important’ to be.”

**Author's Note:**

> adam and ronan are next. i think I'll probably extend this series even more because I am nothing if not horny


End file.
